Preparing For Marriage | Part II

Happy Monday! We hope you all stayed safe and dry with all of the rain this weekend. We’re both born and raised Arkansans, and we’ve never seen this much rain this time of year!

Last Monday we talked about the importance of communicating expectations. If you missed it and want to catch up, click here: https://brittanyellen.com/preparing-for-marriage-part-i/

One thing that we’ve heard repeatedly throughout our relationship is that marriage is not 50/50. What happens when we focus on our own 50%, is we are forced to keep score. When we keep score, we focus on what we’re not getting, instead of what we’re giving. Brittany had a really hard time with this in the early years of our marriage. She kept a tally in her mind of what Reid had and hadn’t done, and then grew bitter when she felt that she was putting forth more effort than he was. Mistake #2 was when she bottled it up for days, weeks, even months until she would explode. BAD IDEA! Don’t do that!

A healthy marriage functions at 100% when both spouses are giving 100%. No, we shouldn’t keep score, but we also shouldn’t ignore a problem if it arises. What Brittany should have done was continue to give her 100%, and lovingly communicate to Reid that her emotional needs weren’t being met (What are those, you ask? Find out here: https://brittanyellen.com/lets-get-selfish/) On the flip side of that, don’t be too hasty to call them out on it. First, we should evaluate our hearts to be sure that we are where we need to be. “Am I really giving 100%? Am I meeting his/her emotional needs?”

As always, we love to hear your thoughts and ideas on the subject, so feel free to comment below! Have a fabulous Monday!