What We Learned From Separation | Whatever It Takes

Happy Monday, folks! We’re starting a new series today that is a bit of a touchy subject. It’s been almost two years since our worlds were turned completely upside down when Brittany made the decision to load up all of her personal belongings into the back of her Pontiac G6 and move out. It had been a very tumultuous 2 1/2 years of marriage. We had been in and out of counselors’ offices, been to conferences and read books. Our relationship would slowly start climbing back up the mountain, but then would quickly slip back down the rocky slopes. Each time we slid back down, the rocks were loosened more and more. In October 2013, we hit the bottom. We were stuck in a pit of boulders and there was no climbing out of it without drastic action.

Few people are familiar with pastor-guided separation. This separation was not intended to divorce us, but to save us. We needed to heal individually before we could heal as a couple. We started our individual counseling immediately and will never forget the first thing our pastor said. “Are you willing to do whatever it takes to save your marriage? If so, you have to do your part.” Whatever it takes. Little did we know that we would be living by those words for the next few months. Really, we’ve been living by them ever since. “Whatever” encompasses more than we ever imagined. Was it difficult? You have NO idea. Was it painful? Absolutely! Did we excel at that all the time? No. There were times when Reid wanted to throw in the towel and have a normal life again with his wife at home. There were times when Brittany was so emotionally exhausted she wanted out of it all together. But we knew that we had to stick to the system and allow our hearts and minds to heal on their own time.

These days, unfortunately, few of us are willing to do whatever it takes to be the best spouse we can be. It involves sacrifice, selflessness and perseverance. We don’t know about you, but those three words are terrifying! But when we actually adopt that mindset, the results are oh-so worth it! Your spouse will feel valued, cherished and genuinely loved. Typically in return, they will be drawn to showing you the same respect. That’s priceless!

Are you doing what it takes to make your marriage flourish? Are you doing your part?

Have a fabulous Monday!

Photo Credit: Ryan & Alyssa